| | Relationship Test
[align=left]How do you really feel about your relationships? The relationship test below will show how you feel about yourself and the way you conduct your relationships.
Do you see yourself as an equal in your relationship or do you feel managed?
We all have relationship problems at one time or another. Sometimes the problems are minor - at other times they are more serious.
But whatever the nature of our relationship problems, we tend to tackle them in pre-set ways. In other words, we tend to follow set patterns of behaviour when trying to solve our problems.
By continuing to react to a situation in the same way we create a habitual response. Our reactions become predictable and we tend to solve our problems in a particular way.
How do you solve your relationship problems?
Try this quick and easy personality test. Here are 4 of the most common approaches that we use in dealing with problems in our relationships. Which one do you use?
Do you recognize yourself? Choose the one that is closest to your own problem solving attitude. Possibly you show a combination of one or more of these attitudes. Your answer should tell you quite a lot about yourself!
1. The Mea Culpa Approach
(Self-recriminating or the "I Blame Myself" attitude)
Some people focus exclusively on their own shortcomings in an attempt to fix the problem. These people are often guilt-ridden "mea culpa" types who accept responsibility for everything that goes wrong in a relationship.
They are the sacrificial lambs. They seem to take a perverse pleasure in accepting all the blame.
Why? Because it is sometimes easier to find fault with yourself rather than expect change to come from another quarter.
"Mea culpa" types argue that they have more say over themselves than over other people. And so when things go wrong they try to gain control either by strictly disciplining themselves or by trying to change themselves.
2. The Critical attitude
An individual with this type of attitude will always find fault with the other person in the relationship. He or she will try to lay the blame on the other party as soon as problems arise. In this way the critical individual can be absolved of all responsibility.
The critical type will expect and often demand that change and compromise be made by other people.
3. The Blinkered attitude.
This type of person is like a horse with blinkers on. He can't see the problems and doesn’t want to either.
He imagines that they don’t exist because learning about them and becoming aware of them would be too painful. This type of person hopes that if you close your eyes for long enough, the problem will miraculously disappear.
4. The Even-handed approach.
Although every relationship consists of two people, very rarely do we see people using the even handed approach.
There are very few people who manage to look at their relationships objectively. Obviously it's very difficult to examine an emotional situation from both points of view.
And yet this is exactly what is needed if we hope to find a genuine solution to a relationship problem.
So how does information like this help?
As a handwriting analyst I use these categories to help me with making character assessments.
Only a few months ago a young woman asked me to look at her fiancé's handwriting as they had been having a lot of problems in their relationship. She was hoping that I would be able to throw some light on their situation.
As soon as I compared their handwritings I was immediately able to understand the problems as well as the causes of their difficulties.
She had a small, light handwriting. It was fine, delicate and even. She was obviously sensitive and conservative.
But not only that, I could see that she was a typical example of "the mea culpa" approach. She would blame herself for anything and everything that went wrong.
Then I looked at his handwriting. It was large, dark and dynamic. It breathed fire and energy.
But more importantly, I could see that he would dominate her relentlessly.
His handwriting showed all the signs of someone with a severe case of bossiness. It was a perfect example of "the critical approach" on steroids.
This was not a happy mix. I felt obliged to warn her, which I did and then I forgot about the incident.
Months later she contacted me again. I was frankly surprised to see how happy she looked. Could I have been so completely wrong in my assessment of her fiancé?
I broached the subject cautiously but she laughed at my embarrassment and told me her story. It turned out that I had been quite correct, after all.
Her fiancé had already been making her life a misery for some months before she came to see me.
As I had pointed out, he had indeed been dominating and overbearing and he had blamed her for everything that went wrong in their relationship.
The fact that I had been able to isolate this in his handwriting encouraged her to re-think her situation carefully. That these character traits came out so clearly and obviously in his handwriting made her worry about what it implied for their future.
She had begun to accept that she did not have to take sole responsibility for the breakdown of their relationship.
This new understanding had given her the courage she needed to put an end to a situation that was causing her more and more unhappiness.
Not long after that, she made up her mind to break up with him. She had never looked back.
Some months later when she came back to me with a new handwriting sample I hardly needed to glance at the letter. The look on her face told me what I would see.
A glance at the handwriting of her new friend gave me all the proof I needed to assure me that they were made for each other.
The right balance
Is it possible to reach a fair and balanced assessment of two people from a comparison of handwriting? And is it possible to look at problems in a relationship from both points of view?
I believe that the answer is "yes" to both these questions. By comparing any two handwritings we are able to gain a considerable amount of valuable information about the two people within that relationship.[/align]
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